


The Locksmith's Tale

by GloriaMundi



Category: Canterbury Tales - Geoffrey Chaucer
Genre: C14, Community: kink_bingo, F/F, Historical, chastity devices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-04
Updated: 2010-08-04
Packaged: 2017-10-10 22:41:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/105187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GloriaMundi/pseuds/GloriaMundi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A long-lost Canterbury Tale.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Locksmith's Tale

Locksmithing is my trade: I can full well  
make locks to keep the devil bound in hell.  
And if the key to any lock is lost,  
I'll smith it open, if you pay the cost.  
Rich men a hundred miles hence know my name:  
Poor folk in London Town begrudge my fame.  
I have the skill to open any lock,  
but best I like to open with my cock  
the secret places of some lady fair  
who has one man, but wants another there.  
A knight there was, new-wedded to his bride.  
He at his lord's command was bid to ride  
to foreign lands, there to defeat in war  
the Infidels who try our faith right sore.  
This knight did love his lady Blanche, and she  
was kind to him, though, by age, he might be  
an uncle or a father: she was young  
and he quite old, and (they say) not well hung.  
To keep Blanche from the lechery of those  
who stayed behind, the knight did then propose  
the making of a belt of chastity,  
so that she might stay pure, and chaste, and free  
of those afflictions that oft are borne  
from lust: the pox, the babes, the cuckold's horns.  
He bade the blacksmith do his finest work  
by day and night: forsooth he must not shirk  
until the belt was made, of iron cold  
worked with rare gems and filigree and gold.  
The belt when made a beauteous piece it was,  
all lined in velvet so it would not cause  
chaffing, or pain; no blister, spot or wart  
should trouble Lady Blanche, who then must sport  
this pinnacle of smithing, locked and tight.  
There was a key – one only – that the knight  
did knot onto a length of ribbon blue  
and hang about his throat: and thus he knew  
that Blanche's virtue would remain intact  
when he went off to war, til he came back.  
Since those Crusaders bold had left our shores,  
I'd found my locksmith's craft had opened doors  
From hall to castle, nunnery to house.  
I'd plied my trade, as subtle as a mouse.  
I picked their locks and oft was paid in kind --  
for my key does fit any lock, I find.  
I do not mean a key of iron cold,  
but one of flesh that springs up proud and bold.  
Indeed I must confess I'd lost the taste  
for any woman not thus belted, chaste.  
There's savour to the dish we may not share  
that far surpasses all the common fare.  
The knight went off to war: once he had left,  
The lady moaned and cried. She was bereft.  
The belt, she said, did keep her wakeful, nights,  
and thwarted her enjoyment of her rights.  
For is it not a woman's right to find  
pleasure of body, as well as of mind?  
She bade me view the lock, and so I did,  
and spied those parts the lady Blanche kept hid.  
The velvet lining was in poor repair,  
and eke her skin which I did see laid bare.  
(Methought the lady took much pleasure in  
revealing what might drive a man to sin.  
And sin was on my mind, I do confess,  
as soon as she had lifted up her dress.)  
The lady bathed oft, but betimes was trussed  
in iron, which when wet doth tend to rust.  
I sucked my teeth and said "just wait a while  
and time shall work as well as any file."  
But this did not content the lady fair.  
She loathed the thing, and did not wish to bear  
its weight upon her tenderest parts of all.  
She was no citadel, beseiged, to fall.  
Her noble lord should trust her better than  
a bitch in heat! And, too, his sister, Anne,  
did keep Blanche company both night and day --  
so neither Blanche nor Anne was like to stray.  
"And if he ne'er returns, what of me then?  
Untouched I shall remain, for though rich men  
will court a weeping widow, they'll not wed  
a lady who, though fair, they cannot bed!"  
"Why lady, you shall have a key to fit  
this belt" (said I); "I swear on holy writ.  
I'll test that key to try if it is right.  
Here are my tools: I vow, this very night,  
I'll craft a key to fit this cunning lock  
and set you free." (By 'key' I meant my cock.)  
"But first we must decide upon my fee:  
I pity you, but cannot work for free.  
My key will open you to untold bliss.  
I'll fit your lock, you pay me with a kiss."  
(A kiss, I said, though that was but the first  
part of the payment, just to whet my thirst.)  
"A kiss and more," she promised, "if you can  
release me: you are such a handsome man!  
I'll owe my liberty to you, I swear,  
and you shall be rewarded by me, bare."  
So I was confident of my full fee  
and set to work with eagerness and glee  
while Lady Blanche and her lord's sister sat  
and talked, and laughed, and kissed, and all of that.  
At last my key was cut: I raised her gown  
and put it in and jiggled it around.  
and lo the lock sprang open like a door  
and I did kiss, all ready to do more.  
But Lady Blanche cried "no!" and called her guard,  
who seized me cruelly and then thrashed me hard.  
She swore I had committed an offence  
and should immediately be driven hence.  
The last I saw of Lady Blanche that night,  
she naked lay with Lady Anne: the sight  
did make me harder. Yet I do not know  
why two fine ladies should deceive me so.  
What need had they of my craft to unlock  
the belt of chastity? It was no cock  
that Lady Blanche did crave, but nimble hands  
and tongue, and lips: all these were Lady Anne's.  
They had no lust for men, nor had they shame.  
It was a very cruel frustrating game  
for this poor locksmith who did hope to fuck  
the lady Blanche. I cursed my luck  
and staggered off into the rainy dark.  
Women with women! Sod that for a lark.  
-end-

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to **msilverstar** for beta and cheerleading! (These ten-syllable lines don't write themselves. Though it may look that way.)
> 
> [Wikipedia article on chastity belts -- basically, Did Not Happen](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chastity_belt)


End file.
